HAVING THE COGNITIVE CAPACITY TO FORGIVE:

There is a large element of learning involved in the understanding and act of forgiving, even if the cognitive capacity is innate. Seung-Ryong Park writes “Forgiveness is not reconciliation. Forgiveness is an internal release that a forgiver has achieved after much effort; reconciliation is a behavioral coming together that a forgiver and the forgiven may establish with trust” (Park 359). Park also speaks to the idea that reconciliation is dependant upon some level of forgiveness and cooperation by stating, “Reconciliation without forgiveness is hardly entitled to constitute genuine reconciliation. It is rather a truce or an interaction based on mutual interests” (Park 359).

Bernard Mayer talks about the emotional aspects of forgiving and apologizing and I believe points us toward the idea that we are geared to move toward emotional resolution:

"The role of forgiveness and apology in reaching emotional resolution can also be critical. I have noticed that delivering an apology is usually more important to reaching closure than receiving one, and forgiving is often more important than being forgiven. Both apologizing and forgiving, when genuinely offered, are acts of emotional resolution. In effect each is a way for people to put some part of the emotional aspect of a conflict behind them. By offering an apology or forgiveness, disputants move themselves toward emotional resolution, even if their action does not have that effect on others." (Mayer 104)

Ken Heare, in his in-depth study of South African reconciliation, shows that even in situations where history and long standing disputes should cause the act of forgiving to be impossible, the human capacity to forgive can still be found if one digs deep enough:

"The question should no longer be whether forgiveness is possible. The case of South Africa has provided example after example of individuals and groups who have effectively engaged in the process. The question now becomes how do we change our societal view to encourage forgiveness as a normal process? Professionals in the field of ADR have the opportunity to create the societal mindset toward forgiveness. By creating dialog, we open the door to exploring interpersonal healing. We create the space for stories to be told and empathy for perpetrators and victims to be realized.” “If we are truly concerned with resolving conflict, we must take a step into the painful and often messy process of reconciliation and forgiveness." (Heare 24)

Could there be varying levels of forgiveness aptitude or effect among different cultures, and, what causes these differences? Clinical observations that focused on US based groups that are exposed to forgiveness treatment and interventions vs. those that are not exposed have shown significant decreases in anxiety, anger, and grief compared with control groups that had not yet received the treatment/intervention. (Park 360, Coyle and Enright 1997). Less of a direct correlation was found in similar experiments made in Korea and Taiwan (Park 361).